Cat Bathing as a Martial Art Bud Herron Video
Some people say cats never have to be bathed. They say cats lick themselves make clean. They say cats have a special enzyme of some sort in their saliva that works like new, improved Wisk--dislodging the clay where it hides and whisking it away. I've spent most of my life believing this folklore. Similar nearly blind believers, I've been able to disbelieve all the facts to the contrary - the kitty odors that lurk in the corners of the garage and dirt smudges that cling to the throw carpet by the fireplace.
The time comes, even so, when a person must face reality; when he must look squarely in the face of massive public sentiment to the contrary and announce: "This cat smells like a port-a-potty on a hot day in Juarez."
When that day arrives at your business firm, equally information technology has in mine, I have some advice you might consider as you place your feline friend under your arm and head for the bathtub:
Know that although the cat has the advantages of quickness and utter disregard for human life, y'all have the advantage of strength. Capitalize on that advantage by selecting the battlefield. Don't try to bathe him in an open up surface area where he can force you to chase him. Choice a very modest bathroom. If your bathroom is more than than four anxiety square, I recommend that you get in the tub with the true cat and close the sliding-glass doors as if yous were near to accept a shower. (A simple shower curtain volition not do. A berserk cat can shred a three-ply rubber shower curtain quicker than a pol tin can shift positions.)
Know that a cat has claws and will not hesitate to remove all the peel from your body. Your reward here is that you are smart and know how to dress to protect yourself. I recommend canvas overalls tucked into high-superlative construction boots, a pair of steel-mesh gloves, an regular army helmet, a hockey face mask and a long-sleeve flak jacket.
Gear up everything in advance. In that location is no time to go out for a towel when y'all have a cat digging a hole in your flak jacket. Describe the water. Brand certain the bottle of kitty shampoo is within the glass enclosure. Make sure the towel tin be reached, even if you lot are lying on your dorsum in the water.
Utilize the element of surprise. Pick upwards your cat nonchalantly, every bit if to but carry him to his supper dish. (Cats volition not ordinarily notice your strange attire. They have little or no interest in fashion equally a rule. If he does notice your garb, calmly explain that you are taking part in a product-testing experiment for J.C. Penney.)
Once you lot are inside the bathroom, speed is essential to your survival. In a single liquid motion, shut the bathroom door, step into the tub enclosure, slide the glass door shut, dip the cat in the water and squirt him with shampoo. You lot take begun i of the wildest 45 seconds of your life.
Cats have no handles. Add together the fact that he now has soapy fur, and the problem is radically compounded. Do non expect to agree on to him for more that 2 or 3 seconds at a fourth dimension. When you take him, still, you must recollect to requite him another squirt of shampoo and rub similar crazy. He'll then spring free and fall back into the water, thereby rinsing himself off. (The national record is--for cats--three latherings, so don't look as well much.)
Adjacent, the cat must be dried. Novice cat bathers always assume this part will exist the most difficult, for humans by and large are worn out at this point and the cat is just getting really determined. In fact, the drying is simple compared to what you have just been through. That's because by now the true cat is semi-permanently affixed to your correct leg. Y'all simply pop the bleed plug with your foot, reach for your towel and await. (Occasionally, notwithstanding, the cat will end upwards clinging to the top of your army helmet. If this happens, the best matter y'all tin can do is to shake him loose and to encourage him toward your leg.) Afterward all the water is tuckered from the tub, it is a simple affair to only reach downwards and dry the cat.
In a few days the true cat volition relax enough to be removed from your leg. He will usually have cypher to say for about 3 weeks and will spend a lot of fourth dimension sitting with his back to yous. He might even become psycho-ceramic and develop the fixed stare of a plaster figurine.
You lot will be tempted to presume he is angry. This isn't usually the case. As a rule he is simply plotting ways to get through your defenses and injure you for life the next time you decide to requite him a bathroom. Simply, at least at present he smells a lot amend.
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